Light Nor Dark
by SomeRandonPeep
Summary: A take on what might have happened to Ahsoka after her battle with her former master.
1. Falling out

**1 |** ** _Falling out_**

 ** _~*AhsokaTano*~_**

 **Third POV**

Letting her light sabers slip through her fingers they clatter to the ground. Knees giving out she fell into the inky darkness and simply focused on getting her breathing back to normal. For a moment there, the yellow had thinned out in his eyes. Then the yellow was the only thing she could see.

But _He_ seemed to peek through. _Only for a moment._ Which strengthened her decision to stay and fight him in the collapsing Sith temple. She could have easily slipped through the closing exit and flown back safely with Ezra and Kanan.

But she hadn't , she couldn't. Ahsoka refused to leave him again. Perhaps if she hadn't left all those years ago he wouldn't have fallen prey to Palpatine. He was no Emperor, and the title was unfit for him. Fit as well as her green light sabers in her hands.

which they may have fit at one point, but alas, no longer did. The moment she uttered those words she knew that they were true.

 _I am no Jedi_

Because she wasn't. She had grown and acquired some undesired experiences. Yet some very important to her future. The markings on her face changed. Her montrals grew longer and the patterns on them changed as well. Her childish face filled out to the face of a soft spoken woman who had a certain sadness lurking inside her. The color of her light sabers changed. White. You could say it was a rather neutral color. She did not classify herself as neither 'good', nor 'evil'. She had known good and evils in her life.

That didn't prepare her for when she had to face her biggest fear yet. The man whom she had grown close to and caring mentor. The man who vowed to never harm her. Now powerful Sith Lord, but couldn't realize Palpatine had him on easily controlled strings. She was surprised 'Vader' hadn't already tripped over them.

Feeling liquid run down her face she smiled sadly to herself.

Tears were not a luxury to either a Jedi or Sith.

Yet she was neither


	2. Destined Battle

**2 | Destined Battle**

 **(A/N) : _This is more like a continued chapter of the first. Enjoy_**

 _ **~*AhsokaTano*~**_

 **Third POV**

Pressing her cheek against the cold, unforgiving rock floor Ahsoka felt defeated. There would be a time when the student became the equal to the master. Perhaps even greater. She had proven a formidable opponent who could hold her own. He had simply pushed the first time her defenses gave.

She got up and went back, managing to destroy part of his helmet. Revealing his luminous yellow eye. She knew the other one was a matching one as well.

 _Ahsoka_

He said her name. She had whirled around and hoped to see his clear blue eyes. Instead met with a yellow that she had hoped would fade.

 _Anakin_

She firmly told him of how she refused to leave him again. His gaze hardened even more and replied steadily.

 _"Then you will die!"_

Trusting him to indeed follow through with what he said she steeled herself for a further battle. Hearing a sort of protest, too focused on her former master to really understand. Knowing who's voice it was she stretched out a hand toward Ezra to keep him from entering this hell once again. Sensing a strike coming Ahsoka formed an X with her light sabers behind her back to block a blow meant to kill.

Continuing, the togruta struggled to keep up with the dark force user. Gritting her teeth in the effort to parry his blows. Slightly flinching as she heard her last chance to escape close she slowed her movements.

Disengaging her, he used the force to push her back several yards. The breathing behind the helmet was heavier and encouraged the former padawan. Throwing her light saber in a bright arc of light it spun toward Vader. He waited until the last possible standard second before bringing up his light sabers to easily deflect the incoming light saber.

Eyes narrowed in concentration, she summoned the weapon back toward her hand before perfectly catching it by the handle.

Running toward him, light sabers poised to strike she pushed off the ground with a force enhanced jump. Batting her weapons aside for a moment, Vader drew up his otherwise unoccupied hand to use the force to throw her to the ground. On a knee, making her way to her feet, he kicked her down. A force packed kick.

 _Snap!_

So it was no surprise when she heard the shatter of her leg. A pained cry escaped from her lips. Forcing herself to glower, she moved to get up but he stopped her by pointing his crimson light saber. Lifting her head to look at him, he stared down at her, unblinking.

The expression of someone who knew the end was near she admirably looked determined. Eyes crinkling in what must have been a cruel grin, he raised an arm as if to reach for the sky. Her makeshift eyebrows drew together as understanding dawned upon her.

Her defense gave and now he shoved, hard. Seeing the dark tendrils of lightning streak toward her, she waited. He never seemed to disappoint. Screaming in pain as she writhed around on the ground trying to push it to the back of her mind. It was impossible and soon gave up hope as her jaw seemed to open even wider to let out her screams of pain.

She howled in pain for herself, for her former master. Soon her screaming ceased as Vader let the force lightning draw away.

"I expect more from you the next time we make an encounter. _Ahsoka."_

He said her name in a mocking tone and she once again knew that the shock of his lightning had meant to be tortuously painful, but not enough to kill. Feeling her montrals pulse with pain she groaned a mournful one.

Hearing the unsteady steps she knew he was injured. Perhaps it was the powerful kick she had delivered to his lower leg during the battle. The one she had strived to win. The one he had ripped away from her grasp. Was this how he felt all those years ago, when she walked away?

If so, she felt truly sorry.

At the very least, he had learned his lesson. Never become too attached to your dear padawan. He never would have walked -or limped- away from her, if he hadn't.

If she were still the girl he called Snips she would try her hardest to make up for all those years apart.

"I don't plan on disappointing..." Hearing her own voice hoarsely force the words out she felt her eyelids grow heavy. Vader was no longer on these battlegrounds. When he'd told her of his expectations she had been in too much pain to reply. Yet, as she recalled the battle and had finally replied, it was indeed not lost on him.

As sleep fully overtook her senses, she murmured one last thing.

 _"Forgive me Anakin."_


	3. Attempt at recovery

**3 |** ** _Attempt at recovery_**

 _ **~*Ahsoka*~**_

 **Third POV**

Drowsily opening her eyes, she gazed around at her surroundings. Recalling where she was, she sighed before blinking the sleep from her eyes. Pushing herself up; she found that she could not put pressure on her leg without tears of pain being brought to her eyes.

Biting her lip, she took great care on carefully extending her legs before her. The silence of her struggles being interrupted once by her small cry. That was all she was going to allow, for she tightened her lips before continuing on. Finally, she was in a decent position that didn't offer much discomfort.

The injured togruta shifted her foot, ankle was now found beneath the thigh of her injured leg. This was as close as she was going to manage to being in the usual crossed legged position when meditating. Breathe in, then out. Repeat. The words were simple enough. Yet her breath came out in shudders as she attempted to reign herself in.

Finding comfort in the slight curve of one of her lightsabers; she took in deep breaths. The shuddering ceased as she traced the soft, familiar curve of her weapon. Releasing it, she placed it beside her left side before closing her eyes once again.

Feeling no presence along her side, she drew no warmth from anyone but herself. Sure, she had done that for some years now. But always with the hope that someone dear and near to her might occupy it the way he once did.

That hope was dead now. Ahsoka knew better than to hope for what she had deemed impossible. The only thing that she could hope for was the possibility that the Rebels were making a difference. No, she didn't hope. Because they had been. No! They _were_ making a difference. What she really hoped for was for them to continue their fight.

Softly smiling, she remembered the small amount of time she had spent with the rebel crew. Small amount of time, but enough to see that they were a solid family, not just simple partners in the rebellion.

Hera Syndulla, the Twi'lek ace pilot. She really was a no nonsense type of twi'lek and was the mother of the group.

Kanan the jedi. He'd had even less training than she did when they were forced into hiding. Although he had been known as Caleb Dume back then, Depa Billaba's padawan.

Then there's the tough -if somewhat smelly- Lasat, nicknamed Zeb. Who seemed happiest when knocking some bucket heads together. He'd seen most of his species destroyed by the Empire. But a new hope had blossomed for him.

Smiling, she recalled the cheeky droid, Chopper. A rust bucket of bolts. Perhaps by a first glance. But he was just as part of the family as any of the other rebel member. He had rightfully earned his place.

Let's not forget Sabine or Ezra. Ahsoka thought with a humorous smile. Sabine was a creative artist, who also happened to love blowing things up. A tough but rather thoughtful mandalorian.

Ezra had a difficult time growing up. Needing someone to look up to. Fortunately, he had found Kanan. Longing to become a jedi, he had been reassured of his own skills. Following and trusting the former Sith Lord, Maul.

Which had definitely backfired, badly. Kanan who was rendered blind. One could only hope for him to learn to use the Force to his advantage.

Gazing at the destruction outside of her little safe place, she sighed heavily. The cliched statement of how things were just getting started applied to this particular situation.


End file.
